she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
