butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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