put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
