Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
