if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
