We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
