I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
