OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
