Sacagawea was the original milf.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
