Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Randomize
