we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
