Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Acid is not a monday night drug
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize