When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
