I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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