I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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