if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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