Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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