It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
