i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
