but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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