do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
