I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
