we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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