He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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