You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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