How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
