just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
