and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
