is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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