So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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