After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
