My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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