But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
