Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
handjob tips. give me some.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize