Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We need to rekindle our bromance
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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