Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Small penises have feelings too.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
