i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
