hell yes lets make some ravioli
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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