Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize