Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
