So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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