Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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