i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
