are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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