I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
