im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
