I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
