he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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