people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
