I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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