There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
