no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
