You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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