How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
