I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
