i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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