porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The uberlube is also flammable
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
