i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
