i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
